you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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