According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
