oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
