my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
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Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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