I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
