I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
