Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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