I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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