You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
