I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
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I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
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I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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