Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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