Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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