I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
