don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So squirting runs in the family.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
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That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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