Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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