hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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