at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
