She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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