I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
