Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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