Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
