GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
try to milk me bitch
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