Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
