Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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