What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize