When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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