I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize