there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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