I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
