Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
