It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
