she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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