Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
