can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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