I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
