He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
