I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
