Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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