it was like his penis was on wheels.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
