Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
