you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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