Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
