but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
