Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sext me about skeletons
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
