At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
