Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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