At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize