Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
