They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
