whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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