it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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