we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's never too late to be topless.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
