Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
