is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
