The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
did you just send me my own nude
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
