Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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