why didn't you poke me back
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
