Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
