O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
