so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize