If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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